how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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