I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
