Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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