dude i'm inner monologue high
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
