I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
