If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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