The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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