Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
