I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
