Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
