Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
