Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
