2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Then you guys just all showered together...?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
