Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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