I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I will be naked everywhere
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
