ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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