i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
