do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
