oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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