sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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