That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
