This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
