my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
