smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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