nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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