Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
