There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
