For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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