I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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