Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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