You just made me feel so damn special
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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