All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
