told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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