as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
