She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
