That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
