what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
