Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
