Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Who did Billy Mays play for?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My ass is underappreciated
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
