Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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