Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
