it hurts more in the daytime
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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