Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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