people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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