a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
