why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
