Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
NoShamevember. You game?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
