I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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