Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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