I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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