Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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