I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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