Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
