we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
