It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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