All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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