He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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