after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
