If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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