Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize