I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we're making bets on your personal life
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
